Bro-Hood Secret Files #2 : FIFA World Cup 2010 Conspiracy
Posted by Al-Saachez | Filed under The Bro-hood Files
OMG! Is this true?! It’s like Bieber Fever also?
The greatest conspiracy of all time! Hurrah!
Yes my believers. This is some shiat you must never miss out as the follower of the Bro-Hood Cult. It is believed that our researchers had develop this sort of theory while inhaling the smoke of shisha when watching the World Cup at some nearby food stall around their residential areas.
It is widely known that FIFA World Cup had finally had ended sometime around last week and there are people who are still questioning the fact that the winning team manage to win despite lack of efficiency in judgment system conducted by the umpires appointed by FIFA management team. Somehow, people also seems to be amazed by the fact that a mere cephalopod mollusk called Paul managed to predict the outcome with deadly accuracy.
Paul the bloody Octopussy
People, we need to be aware of this as this might come in handy in the future. According to the idiots, the octopus is believed to have some degree of supernatural powers in this case, precognition ability which is believed to be untouched by any human natures at all. While somehow this might sound like a total moron making stupid assumption, we researchers believe that those morons might get it right this time, but in a different way of looking into this sort of case.
I herd u haz c da future?
Somehow, we manage to find out that actually there is a greater plan behind this. A plan that is beyond mankind imagination. Even Spielberg or Lucas would be amazed by what I am about to reveal. However, further caution is advised for those who want to know about this secret.
The secret is
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Intermission
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
WORLD DOMINATION!
Can I haz teh world plzzzz?
Yes, we managed to secure some blueprints about this plan. And somehow, we managed to uncover the secrets behind those stupid prediction made up by that particular eight legged freak in the aquarium in Germany.
The plan is … To make mankind bow down to the supreme power of the eight arm deity! This is conducted through series of international scams, involving a lot of nations who managed to participate into the preliminary rounds. They have bribed all of those puke heads with money so that the game outcome will be according to what Paul had predicted, or should I say, guess? Well, octopus aren’t that genius. But it take a genius to make that particular creature into world wide attraction with some simple magic and walla! You have all the attention you need!
Flying Spaghetti Monster = Paul?
It is believed that all the prediction made by Paul will be true so that people will start to believe in the octopus. Then, people will start to come by and ask stupid things like 4D toto, horse race, stocks etc, things that involved money and gambling as well. And at some point this tentacle head will have its own cult followers, then they will create a religion dedicated for this eight legged critter. After that, people will decide to dedicate their life into becoming an octopus by having plastic surgery and robotic enhancement arms so that they will also have 8 arms like Paul.
And Davy Jones will be the messenger of Paul!
And people will stop eating octopus because they believe octopus is the image of their god. At some point, people will have the desire to live with gods in the sea by turning oceans into residential areas like the hotel they built in Dubai. And people will believe that the closer they are to octopus, the closer they will be to the heaven’s gate. And then people will ignore all sorts of worldly crap like economics, politics and all sorts of shit we are having. Then, the Hidden Hand will start to move in and conquer Earth easily because at that humans are already thinking like octopus. And we will have FIFA World Cup with eight legged players on the field kicking eight balls at the same time!
Teh temple where all the believers shall stood and praise Paul and his images!
However, do not fear my friends as there is always ways to overcome this sort of apocalyptic shit that might happen. Introducing the plan of total salvation of MANKIND!
The plan is …
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
EAT OCTOPUS WHILE YOU CAN!
p/s : I do this entry for teh lulz mang!
